On a Whiteboard in the UNIX lab

I lost my physics textbook. Please return it. I am not mad just worried. I NEED IT TO STUDY!
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I lost my mind. Please return it. I am not mad, just worried. I NEED IT FOR EVERYTHING!
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It was delicious.
-Zombie #147

Not in your Sears Catalog

Schroedinger's Dishwasher: No one knows if the dishes are clean or not!

Schroedinger's Percolator: No one knows if it makes decaf or not!

Schroedinger's Toaster: No one knows if the toast is done...aren't all toasters like this?

Schroedinger's Toilet: No one knows if it has been flu......ewww

Schroedinger's Mailbox: Not approved by the postal service, to say the least.

Schroedinger's Vending Machine: It will eat your change. This is certain.

Schroedinger's Bullshit: No one knows if it is true.

Schroedinger's Shower: See "Second Degree Burns"

Schroedinger's Pregnancy Test: .....oh god....

You know you're a right wing nutjob if...

You grew up in a "compound" and your last name isn't "Kennedy."

It's a logarithmic scale

Olive Oil purity scale:

1. Extra Virgin
2. Virgin
3. Doesn't go slutty on haloween
4. Active but responsible
5. Kind of a ho
6. Total Slut
7. Would do anything for a slice of pizza
8. The "She"* in "that's what She said."

*From now on, "She" will be a proper noun, because She is out there some where.

This doens't make me yee-haw

I wonder if the Republicans have any idea how many voters they alienate with country music.

Life isn't like a box of Chocolates

If I voted for McCain and I was an asshole, and he won, my facebook status would say "...is sorry he ruined your black panther party."

The tickets still cost the same

Isn't it weird that we don't like seeing comedians who tell the same jokes over and over, but we like it when bands play the same songs they always do?*

*Yes, we expect some variety, but you get what I mean.