Friday, May 30, 2008

Definition of Cruelty

Putting "be kind, rewind" stickers on DVDs in an old folks home.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Introducing the New Field of Developmental Economics

As a kid whenever I had dessert my dad always made us "pay our taxes" and ate a (sometimes large) bite or two.

I think that having this idea of taxation from such a young age is what stopped me from ever becoming a Libertarian.

EDIT:  It was recently brought to my attention that there is a field called "Development Economics" that deals with the economics of developing nations.  

Monday, May 26, 2008

I'm actually more of a metalhead, seriously.

So I hear this Justin Timberlake and Timbaland song and they go "bounce like your ass had the hiccups!"

Wouldn't that be called farting?

Sunday, May 25, 2008

When Advertising Malfunctions

About a year or two ago a birth control pill called "Yasmine" came out, and I started referring to it as "yaz" or "the yaz." Now they actually call it that.

Friday, May 23, 2008

On the S&P 500

I don't understand why one of the most important financial institutions in the world is allowed to have "Standard" and "Poor" in the name.

What a loner

I wonder if anyone has ever asked their psychologist how to "get"
dissasociative identity (multiple personality) disorder so they can
play dungeons and dragons alone?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

If Jay-Z were a Mathematician.....

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I've got 99 problems and the odd ones are in calculus.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Stolen Jokes

I went to watch graduation yesterday and our valedictorian had a 3.98. The president asked "I wonder who gave her the one A-." right after I said it.

Apparently I am one of about 3002542342 people that asked this question to the person next to them.

Musing upon Genesis...

After all these years I still don't know what Phil Collins feels in the air tonight. Nor why I have to hold on.

MS Word

I hope I am not the only one this month that is being driven nuts by autocomplete trying to fill in the date every time they type "may"

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The 70s

Sometimes I am really amazed that all the great minds that were around in the 70s survived without dying in roller disco accidents.


I'm starting to think that giving birth to a child (or fathering one) results in either a breakdown or complete brain takeover of the limbic system.

This Made me Giggle

Semester GPA: 3.82
Overall GPA: 3.28

Don't know why

Sunday, May 11, 2008


All humans are 2/3rds water. If the population continues to grow, at what point do we become all the drinkable water? I scared the crap out of myself and miscalculated it to 2054. Turns out I misplaced an E doing the math. Whew.

Old People

Do you ever find yourself stuck behind a slow moving Cadillac and go "I really don't get how these people beat the Nazis and the Japanese at *the same* time?"

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Misheard Lyrics

Have you ever noticed that "inside of me" often sounds just like "in sodomy" or "and sodomy" when sung?

In a Nutshell

Operating System elitism: My 0s and 1s are better than your 0s and 1s.

Sunday, May 4, 2008


Some say things like playing (American) football builds character. I think it just turns you into one.

Hypothetical Drinking Games

Beer Pong: Harry Potter versus Luke Skywalker. Who would win?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Chemistry and Finals

Studying is like a gas. You can always add more, but eventually the pressure will break the chamber or the regulator. Sometimes I wish it were liquid....still fluid, but with more limits.