Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I just made a blog post and I....

If girls have fake orgasm contests, guys should consider having fake "jizz in my pants" contests where they try and pull their best "face."

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Thoughts on Numbers

If there are an infinite amount of numbers, and they are all to be named, this means that a "zillion" must actually be a number. Also on the list would be:

Yourmom
chimpanzeechoochoo
Porkloin
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Dumbfuck
SpongeBobSquarePants

and so on.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Just like the cool kids

For the last three years, I've used a 12" Apple iBook G4.

For the last three days, I've been trying to figure out if it is the smallest notebook I will ever own or the biggest netbook I'll ever own.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

But I still have my marbles

On my desk was a list of ideas for posts.  I think I threw it out yesterday when cleaning my room.  If you happen to be dumpster diving or otherwise digging through trash and find it, please let me know.*

*Also, if you see any grad school letters addressed to me, these would be most appreciated as well.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

When on an airline, Pt 2

As the crew is thanking me for flying with them, I have to resist the urge to ask the pilot if he has ever been in a Turkish prison and/or enjoys gladiator films.

Friday, March 13, 2009

It would probably comfort them

If I ever drive past a huge explosion, I want to look at the person next to me and casually remark "I guess Jerry Bruckheimer must be filming in town this week."

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My Real Career Plans

If I weren't on my way to being a neuroscientist, I would have to get a Ph.D. in Mathematics, because its the only way I could have an academic career all about Tetris and still be taken seriously.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I'm 22

I feel old because the original Matrix came out ten years ago this month and "Family Matters" is on Nick at Night.  

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

When on an airline, Pt 1

Do you ever wonder how it is that people over the age of 50 swear that Vinyl sounds better, but still blow $300 on noise canceling headphones?