Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Both are pretty quiet, actually.

Every time I see a "Student Libertarians" sign I immediately think it says "Student Librarians."

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Very Metal Disney

1. Rammstein - Be Our Guest (in English)
2. Under the Sea - DragonForce
3. Can You Feel the Love Tonight? - Dimmu Borgir
4. Be Prepared - Iron Maiden
5. Slipknot - Colors of the Wind
6. Nightwish - Zippidy Doo Dah
7. Metallica - Cruella De Ville
8. Opeth - I've Got No Strings
9. Dark Tranquillity - Arabian Nights
10. In Flames - The Bear Necessities
11. Rob Zombie - Hakuna Matata

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I love kid cereal

If you are what you eat, and I eat Apple Jacks for breakfast every day for a month or two*,  then clearly I do not taste like apples, either.

*They were on sale for $1 each.  Oh yeah.

Friday, September 19, 2008


I am a huge proponent of evolution, but reading Darwin is a bitch. I'm pretty sure that the "On the Origin of Species" should be renamed "On the Origin of Sleepy."

Surely, It Can't be Steve

Whenever I see someone with a name like "S. Reginald Jones" I always have to wonder what kind of crazy ass first name he was given that causes him to want to go by Reginald.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

CGI is not an acceptable answer

Do you ever wonder exactly how one gets on a chandelier to swing in and save the day?  I mean I have never seen one that was within reach of a balcony or anything.

Middle School

Never, ever get into an argument with a group of people about who was weirder in middle school.  Someone will admit something really embarrassing and it will end awkwardly.

Monday, September 15, 2008

On Booze and Matrimony / Why hasn't this been made into a beer commercial yet?

People often wonder if they should have an open bar at their weddings or let everyone buy their own damn drinks. The solution: BYOB.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Scranton Scantron

Every time I see a reference to the "University of Scranton" I misread it as University of Scantron. The first time this happened I thought "They must be the people that invented computer-read testing paper."

Monday, September 8, 2008

Cell Phones

You know you have bad phantom phone syndrome when you find yourself reaching for your pocket whilst in the shower.

Friday, September 5, 2008

The problem with American Capitalism

We pay people more to manage money than to actually earn it.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Yo mama

I remember the joke "Yo mama is so poor that she can't pay attention!"

Well, I guess if she can't afford to buy her ritalin, yo mama is in fact too poor to pay attention.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Not that I believe in these things....

But if there is a God and it speaks through the weather, then this hurricane should be telling us two things:

1. Remember what happened last time and who was in charge.
2. Someone up there wants to cancel the RNC.