Friday, August 29, 2008

Another Post in the Wall

So I have 1143 posts on my facebook wall, and have had my account for nearly three years. For the sake of argument, lets assume that I am average:

1143/3 = 381 posts per year, ~1.05 posts per day.

So, at ~5000 students, this means that 1.9 million wall posts are made every year to profiles at my university alone.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I wish there was a God.... that I could say that he kills a cute animal every time a redhead dyes her hair blonde.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Business #1

I will now be emailed whenever comments are made. Sorry if I had ignored some of the ones with questions for weeks on end; I didn't know they were there.

Also, posts tagged as "Answers without questions" are there to be answered.

Properties of things that are offensive to the olfactory senses

Intelligent Design and old Cheese have a lot in common; they are full of holes and smell really bad.


They need to make a "Product Placement Movie" that spoofs the "_____ movies." It would be horrible but they would still make money because of the advertising.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Definition of Laziness

Asking someone a question you forgot the answer to in an AIM conversation when you can just scroll up.

Things you never want to hear a doctor say #243490

"Nurse, get me a brillo pad, STAT!"

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Gotta have my tunes, dammit!

There is a unique sort of frustration that comes from needing AAA batteries and finding that every other remote in your house/apartment/lab uses AAs.

Gateway Drugs

"I just like *some* of their songs" -The path to being a hardcore fan of a guilty pleasure.

(note: this how I got into Cradle of Filth, Justin Timberlake, Marilyn Manson, Nelly Furtado, and Slipknot)

We live in an R-rated world

I wonder if any small children ever realize that being told to "run along" is just a polite way of telling a child to fuck off?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Note to Self

Lux Aeterna* is a really bad choice of music when studying for the GREs.

*theme from "Requiem for a Dream" and some Lord of the Rings trailers.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

World War III will be fought in 2010....and not with jokes about Poland

Did you hear what happened when Russia played Germany in the world cup? Five Polish players were injured!

My 2009 Calendar....

....ought to be XKCD, but sadly there are more than 3 days in the week.

Soccer/Football and Psychology

I used to wonder if when the FIFA commentator says "That wasn't classical positioning!" if he was making some kind of bad joke about behaviorism, but then I realized that it was just me.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Spam Wars

I wonder if email spam bots on Craigslist ads accidentally try to commit identity crimes against other spam bots?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Cave Men

My sixth grade history teacher used to say "Thumthar days" instead of "olden days." Don't you think that "thumthar" would be a great name for a caveman?

Friday, August 8, 2008

The Seventh Rule of Fight Club.... that you cannot ever buy "Fight Club"* because doing so defeats the message of the story.

*Even if it is on sale for $9 at the grocery store.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

R2D2: Ahead of his time

C3P0: They'll hit the main reactor! We'll be destroyed for sure...this is madness!"
R2D2: Beep beep boo beep
(Translation "This is Sparta")

Sunday, August 3, 2008

I didn't know I could do that...

Last night I was hanging out with one of my friends, and noticed that I was lactating.

In case you didn't know, I am a male.