Monday, December 29, 2008

Hairstyles: As Explained by SCIENCE

Mohawk: Energy and mass are formed at the center of the system in a gaussian distribution. Certain compounds are required to maintain this state. H2O works for a few seconds, more powerful adhesives are required for extended periods of time.

Combover: Some energy and a lot of mass is moving from areas of high to low concentration.

Afro: A chaotic system. The laws of thermodynamics break down at this energy level.

Dreadlocks: When an afro "cools down" after a long period in a chaotic state, it eventually forms an incredibly static system. The only way to alter the state of a "dreadlocked" system is to destroy it completely. Whoever figures out why will get a free trip to Sweden.

Bedhead: This is a strange system, although it appears dynamic, occasionally static pockets emerge. H2O can return this system to a more stable state.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The wisdom of grandparents

"Who are you going to texmex on that new phone?"

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The True Pain of Poetry

Isn't "SON OF A BITCH!!" kind of a mouthful to yell when you stub your toe? DAMMIT! FUCK! or SHIT! is much more quick and to the point, yet some of us spit out 5 syllables. That's a third of a haiku.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

He got his MBA at KKK State College...?

I look over and see "Managing White Supremacy" on the bookshelf.  For a second I thought it might be a book on how to run your very own hate group.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


I want my house to have alarms like in movies and old TV shows, so that way when it burns down, it will do so in style.

Monday, December 1, 2008

This started as a Russian reversal, I swear...

Sex:  A drug that uses you when you use it.