Fabulous Facts

Lady Gaga + Ice Skates + Penis = Johnny Weir.

Tucson

I love this town. Let's hope Hipsters never find out that it exists.

What wouldn't Jesus do?

I don't understand why preachers feel the need to come to college campuses and tell the students that they are all sex-crazed perverts. No one says "I found Jesus after some guy on a soapbox told me I was living the life of a destitute prick, and I had an epiphany...."

Thoughts on 90's dance music

Contrary to popular belief, groove is not in the heart. It is in the Liver. This is why drunks cannot dance.

Pshh...what an Einstein.

Have you ever noticed that the line "God does not play dice with the universe" is self-contradicting?

Frustration.

When doing my computer vision homework, I actually derived f = -m' * L. FML indeed.

Living Dangerously by Kindergarten Standards

I don't wash my apples before I eat them. You are all wimps.

European Beaches

I bet the European version of "Girls Gone Wild" is called "Girls Gone Normal."

To be 12 again...

When the Eiffel 65 song "Blue" came out, I honestly thought it was about smurfs. I know that I am not the only person who thought this.

This should be your new year's resolution

There is a saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too." For years this confused me because you must be able to have cake before you can eat it. I assumed that the "and" implied some sort of time passing.

From now on, we should all say "You can't eat your cake and have it too" because it makes more sense.

I should have said "Fudging global warming data"

Me: So then I was doing some photoshop work....
Dad: *interrupts* What do you guys do in photoshop?
Me: I work in a vision lab. We have to make things for people to look at.
Dad: Oh.

Ideas from Black Friday

Rock Band: Slipknot Edition. Comes with three drumsets!

My apologies to Kant

"History is bunk"
- Henry Ford

"Ford is a douche"
- History

Movie Math

Halo + Fern Gully = Avatar

21st century fame

We used to get 15 minutes of fame. Now we get 140 characters.

Disclaimer

"The events and persons portrayed in this film are intended to be fictional. Any resemblance to real persons or events, dead or alive, is purely coincidental."

Why is this at the end of so many science fiction films?

Crazy

Half an hour ago the Commonwealth of Virginia executed a man who was clearly Schizophrenic. That is truly crazy.

Today.

If they are my father's brothers-in-arms, that makes them my uncles (and aunts).

Think about it.

Have you ever actually known someone to be a unicyclist that is....normal?

Violence is fun

Wheelchair Rugby: proof that even if you break a man's spine and cut off his legs, that he will still want to kick his fellow man's ass competitively.