Definition of Cruelty

Putting "be kind, rewind" stickers on DVDs in an old folks home.

Introducing the New Field of Developmental Economics

As a kid whenever I had dessert my dad always made us "pay our taxes" and ate a (sometimes large) bite or two.

I think that having this idea of taxation from such a young age is what stopped me from ever becoming a Libertarian.

EDIT:  It was recently brought to my attention that there is a field called "Development Economics" that deals with the economics of developing nations.  

I'm actually more of a metalhead, seriously.

So I hear this Justin Timberlake and Timbaland song and they go "bounce like your ass had the hiccups!"

Wouldn't that be called farting?

When Advertising Malfunctions

About a year or two ago a birth control pill called "Yasmine" came out, and I started referring to it as "yaz" or "the yaz." Now they actually call it that.

On the S&P 500

I don't understand why one of the most important financial institutions in the world is allowed to have "Standard" and "Poor" in the name.

What a loner

I wonder if anyone has ever asked their psychologist how to "get"
dissasociative identity (multiple personality) disorder so they can
play dungeons and dragons alone?

If Jay-Z were a Mathematician.....

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I've got 99 problems and the odd ones are in calculus.

Stolen Jokes

I went to watch graduation yesterday and our valedictorian had a 3.98. The president asked "I wonder who gave her the one A-." right after I said it.

Apparently I am one of about 3002542342 people that asked this question to the person next to them.

Musing upon Genesis...

After all these years I still don't know what Phil Collins feels in the air tonight. Nor why I have to hold on.

MS Word

I hope I am not the only one this month that is being driven nuts by autocomplete trying to fill in the date every time they type "may"

The 70s

Sometimes I am really amazed that all the great minds that were around in the 70s survived without dying in roller disco accidents.

Parenting

I'm starting to think that giving birth to a child (or fathering one) results in either a breakdown or complete brain takeover of the limbic system.

This Made me Giggle

Semester GPA: 3.82
Overall GPA: 3.28

Don't know why

Thirsty

All humans are 2/3rds water. If the population continues to grow, at what point do we become all the drinkable water? I scared the crap out of myself and miscalculated it to 2054. Turns out I misplaced an E doing the math. Whew.

Old People

Do you ever find yourself stuck behind a slow moving Cadillac and go "I really don't get how these people beat the Nazis and the Japanese at *the same* time?"

Misheard Lyrics

Have you ever noticed that "inside of me" often sounds just like "in sodomy" or "and sodomy" when sung?

In a Nutshell

Operating System elitism: My 0s and 1s are better than your 0s and 1s.

Character

Some say things like playing (American) football builds character. I think it just turns you into one.

Hypothetical Drinking Games

Beer Pong: Harry Potter versus Luke Skywalker. Who would win?

Chemistry and Finals

Studying is like a gas. You can always add more, but eventually the pressure will break the chamber or the regulator. Sometimes I wish it were liquid....still fluid, but with more limits.